Anxious

Anxious thoughts are what I fought with, went to war with, left me with memories that are haunted, still where I was man I’m getting taunted

by my own soul, I dug, dug, dug my own hole, what do you know- about the dumb decisions you make when you’re feeling low?

or being so critical? or feeling no pleasure in the spiritual or the physical? man this is difficult, I’ve become so cynical, these thoughts should be criminal

but I have faith in the Infinite, because life is so intricate, may God make my progress imminent, I learnt many lessons that are significant, that will help in freeing myself from self-imprisonment

and Inshallah I become vigilant of the destructive power of the negative, and surroundings that are acidulent

I just want to be free

Despair in my soul was copable when I had hope in my heart, when I lost that is when I started to fall apart. I don’t mean this to rhyme, I’m just letting the words out of my mind and explaining how I feel at this current time.

I just want to be free!

Free from the despair of my thoughts and the negativity that came from everything I lost and everything I sought.

I just want to be free!

Free from the sadness of my soul as I look upon those who smile despite having nothing when comparing their possessions to my own

I just want to be free.

.

Do you like what I write because your mind alone?

Or do you like what I write to get your page more known?

Do you follow my page to see my growth?

Or do you follow my page for me to follow back which I loathe

Be true with your intentions and reactions, leave me be from selfish actions.

I just wanna write to help myself from the prison of my mind, I write to give my heart more inspiration to be fine, to be kind.

My soul yearns for goodness and purity, so as I aim to break away from obscurity, if your intentions are selfish, please don’t follow me…

Where am I going

I don’t know where my heart is at

I don’t know where my mind is at

I don’t know why my soul feels so black

I don’t know when my happiness will come back

I don’t know how to make it like the past

I don’t know how long my life will last

I know of a direction in this life, but..

I don’t know where to start it at

Where am I going?

Meaning

I hope you don’t greet me with derision,

I just want to clear up some confusion.

This world is not immaculate, its only an Illusion. 

let me speak my words, nothing on here is allusion.

I believe that once you start loving this world, 

is the time you start losing.

You perceive something to be true and others could believe the very same thing as you. However, life is a perception. When nothing is permanent, how could this world even be true? With your happiness you may see the world in glory, the beauty of God’s creation. In sadness you may see the world for its shallowness, its emptiness.. you see God’s creation being destructed. What I’m talking about here is not only the world as in nature and skyscrapers and all of those worldly things. What I’m also talking about is Humans. We are the world. I believe we were made with intelligence because this World is for us. Other species are extras in our movie, but we are the primary and we know we are. We live in arrogance because this is our world. However, death falls upon everyone and everything in this world. Our minds forget it, our minds deny it.. but our souls are forever in remembrance. Our souls wait for the next life, knowing something better awaits us but our minds distract us. This life is just a perception.

But you prefer the worldly life, while the Hereafter is better and more enduring- (Quran 87:16-17)

Loving something that is not permanent is a dangerous game, but our hearts always long for something to Love. However Love, just as life, should have a greater meaning. You could Love someone for their appearance, but that meaning will fade. You could Love them for their personality, character, drive.. but in the end they won’t always be there for you. I know that sounds depressing and negative, but its the truth. We live in an impermanent world. So this is why finding the right meaning for Love is more important than Love itself and, I believe, Loving something for the sake of God is the best Love you could have. Then the Love between two becomes permanent. Both striving to live in the sanctity of God’s Heaven and, therefore, both striving for Eternal Love.

Oh external Worshipper, know that worship without heart is motions. Oh seeker of knowledge, know that knowledge without purification is a dangerous weapon of the ego. Oh activist, know that work without orientation of heart is fruitless. Oh lover, know that Love without God is pain – Yasmin Mogahed